“Be gentle. You are meeting parts of yourself you have been at war with.” – Tiffany Stiles
I am beginning a new journey and challenge tomorrow and it is called:
100 Day Self-Attunement Journey.
It will be as much a journey as it will an experiment. I have been inspired by Kyle Cease and his 100 Day Self Connection Experiment from 2015 where he meditated for at least an hour for 100 days straight and then made a video following each meditation session. So yes, that’s 100 videos. He’s a rock star.
For the past 7 months, I’ve opened more doors to unresolved places inside me than ever before. Scary, traumatic, and dark places. Some days have been really difficult and I wanted to give up more times than I can remember. I’ve been learning more and more about my old patterns and tendencies, my unhealthy coping skills, my addictions, my core beliefs, my traumas, etc. So much, in fact, that at many points during these past 7 months, the unfamiliar felt so scary and so unreal that it was almost as if I didn’t even recognize my own self.
And of course, whenever I finally touched the edge of what I actually said I wanted and who I wanted to be, I found myself self-sabotaging it. And then I felt like crap. Why did I do that? Because it felt familiar and comfortable. The unfamiliarity of who I’ve never been and the discomfort of those feelings was too much. That’s when I almost automatically succumbed to unhealthy behaviors. I understand that a part of me needed to prove to myself that the unhealthy behaviors are still there and they can evoke emotions and behaviors in myself and others that I’m familiar with. It’s a matter of relying on them, relying on the familiar and comfortable, instead of allowing the uncertainty and unfamiliarity to take its abstract and elusive shape.
I’m going to delve deep into this meditation thing because I have learned that for me there is no other way. So I’m going to practice what I preach and I’m going to just do it. I don’t like “maybes;” I like action. In the journey that I’m currently on with my therapist and body-work healer, I know this extra step with transcend my healing. I am so open to this experience.
So this is the structure:
For the next 100 consecutive days, I am going to wake up at 5:30am every day and meditate for at least 30 minutes. I foresee that as the days go on, I will spend more than half an hour meditating, but I will start with 30 minutes. At least 30 minutes every day. I will document this process by each day either making a short video or writing a short blog post about that day’s meditation experience, my struggles, pains, answers, insights, discoveries, etc.
I commit to pushing myself to being as vulnerable, honest, and expressive as I possibly can so that it’s valuable for you as well.
Thanks for being here! If you have any questions or you want to join me on this journey, write to me at email@example.com